While browsing on my website, I came across my first Girls Talk post that I shared 2 years ago, and read your comments below it. It got an amazing feedback! So I thought why not a second part? I’ve asked you on my Instagram stories about topics we can talk about and you sent me your questions and ideas. I selected 10 of them for this blog post. Grab your tea or coffee and let’s chat a little.🥰
How can I become successful?
1st suggestion: Study and be ready for chances.
Of course, studying comes first. It is our biggest chance and it is entirely up to us how much effort we put into our work. I was a very bright student in high school; I studied in Germany, after primary school students are divided into 4 different high schools according to their level – I went to the school where the “brightest” students go and I was the only Turkish in the class. Despite this fact, every year I became best in class. I’m not saying this to praise myself or to make you praise me. Success was already the highest praise for my own hard work. What I mean is this: You may be in difficult conditions, you may not be studying in a good school, your teachers may be less skilled than other teachers or anything else. There are many excuses for the ones who seek them. Lessons are clear, exam topics are clear, books are clear, moreover, the most of you are studying in their own language and your schoolmates are just like you. What kind of difficulty can we talk about? Only YOU are responsible for your own success or failure. Otherwise, it’s easy to find a scapegoat, but it’s still up to you to pay the bill. Not being able to get into the university may be on the bill, not being eligible to do your dream job… or another option: being able to study whatever you want. It’s hard to pay them all, no doubt. You pay one first, one later. But that part of your life will change the rest of your life – completely. From time to time people tell me ‘you are very lucky’, maybe I am lucky, but you have to be prepared to take the chances and opportunities when the luck comes your way, right? If you are not prepared enough to take the chance then the luck is useless, you won’t know what to do with it. I was hardworking. I created my own luck by working hard. After high school, I was able to choose the subject I wanted to study in university. I had both Architecture and Law in mind, I was accepted to the university with the best architecture faculty in Germany, but I decided to study Law. Am I doing my main job now? No. But if I hadn’t studied it, I wouldn’t be here now. It was the path I walked that brought me here, the opportunities that came my way, and I was ready to use those opportunities. I’m super happy that I did it. I hope everyone who works hard gets the reward of the time and energy they put into it.♥️
2nd suggestion: Improve yourself and your skills continuously.
This is how you can stand out from the rest! It is as important as studying itself. Of course life is not just about studying and going to work. For example, during my school years I had many hobbies and interests, I explored them, developed myself in these areas, and I still do it. This is not a path with a finish line, it is a journey and there is no end to learning. For example, I complete many online courses of foreign universities monthly. This way, I learned a lot about sports, nutrition, anatomy and psychology and added a scientific point of view to my interests. My hobby has become my profession, 520,000 people are working out with me on YouTube right now and they find my videos useful in their daily lives, it’s incredible! Apart from that, I love art, I paint with acrylic on canvas or draw charcoal pictures. This is my hobby since childhood, but I have improved my skilles so much with practice that there are even people who want to buy my portraits (I don’t sell them anyway😄). I traveled the world, met different countries, cultures, people, and broadened my horizon. Even if it is not in my actual interest, I broadened my horizons by chatting with professionals in different professions. I did ballet, boxing, learnt (by myself) to play the guitar, read books, wrote hundreds of articles (on my old blog), repaired things, learned to cook, improved my “eye” for video and photography, from scratch. What I’m saying is, I’ve never been a ‘I can’t do it’ princess, and I never will be. I am always trying to improve myself, invest in myself and I enjoy it immensely. Be open to learning too; don’t say you can’t do it, when you jump into the water you have to swim.😊
3rd suggestion: Be authentic.
Of course, being the first to do something is great; you may have a great vision and realizing your idea can bring a lot of success. But that’s not the only way; you don’t have to invent something new to become successful, you just need to be authentic. You can add your own interpretation to something that already exists. This is the success of my YouTube channel as well. I’m not doing anything extraordinary on my channel, after all those are well-known exercises. BUT: I transform existing moves, interpret them in my own way and create innovative exercises that are more effective. I try to produce authentic content with the combinations I make, with my own style and vision. Whatever you do, in which field you work, don’t be ordinary, add your own style to your work. It may be a small thing, but if it is a noticeable change, success is inevitable.
2. BEAUTY & CARE
Which beauty treatments do you recommend?
Number 1 is definitely laser hair removal to permanently get rid of unwanted body hair and to get a smooth skin! I started in May this year and already did 7 sessions so far and I am veeery very happy with the results I already can see (not finished yet). Since my skin is still tan from the summer, I couldn’t get the whole body done, but we laser armpits and bikini areas. By the way, don’t be afraid that it will hurt, I neither like painful procedures, but laser hair removal is not unbearable. It takes approx. 3 minutes in total for the armpits and bikini areas. You might feel a pricking sensation but it is bearable & definitely worth it because you don’t have to deal with shaving and waxing anymore.🥰
Number 2: I go to Garage Hair Repair Studio for my haircut and care. My hairdresser is Ahmet Coban (@ahmetcobain) and I would never allow anybody else to cut my hair.😄 I would like to suggest a hair treatment that I get done twice a year, it’s called Garage Calming Therapy. It’s an organic treatment which contains a special mixture of proteins (also incl. keratin) which strengthens the hair structure and makes the hair silky and shiny.
Number 3: Gel nail polish! I’ve been getting it done by Mina (@minailbeauty) for 3 years, her studio is at La Magie Clinic in Istanbul. She works so meticulously and is so well-skilled about nails, I think there is no better nail master in Turkey than her. I myself am an extreme perfectionist, even the smallest things catch my eye. But Mina always does exactly what I want in an absolutely flawless way. By the way, she uses Luxio gel polishes. My own nails were neither damaged nor thinned. With gel nail polish, they become stronger and do not break and gel polish looks much more shiny and beautiful than the regular nail polishes.
3. FEMININE ENERGY
We always see you as a strong, disciplined and hardworking person. I wonder how you are in your private life, are you emotional, can you talk about your feminine energy?
This is such a good question! The topic of masculine and feminine energies is very long, but let me briefly talk about it for those who have not busy themselves with it: The masculine and feminine energy has nothing to do with gender, and both male and female can tap into both essences. One of them can be either dominant or they can be in balance. Masculine energy is logical, direct, conquering, moment by moment, firm, robust. It is masculine energy that initiates action. Feminine energy is creative, fluid, nurturing, refined, continual, gentle and represents creativity, passion, art and aesthetics. Ideally these two energies are in balance within us. Nurturing the strengths of both energies allows us to be more balanced in life. Alright, that’s enough information.
How is my masculine-feminine energy ratio? I think both of them are at a normal level, I cannot say that one is more dominant. Maybe the masculine energy is a little bit more dominant: 55% masculine, 45% feminine. I like to take action (btw my name Eylem means ‘action’ in Turkish😄), but creativity, aesthetics and art are at the forefront in my work and my life. So I would say my two energies are in harmony and complement each other.🥰
4. GYNECOLOGIC EXAMINATION
I have never been to a gynecologist before, I am afraid of the examination. Is it embarrassing? When should I start going?
In fact, it is recommended to go for a gynecologic check-up starting from puberty. In addition to checking your health, your gynecologist will make you aware of the menstrual cycle and contraceptives. I was born and grew up in a country where these topics are not something you should be ashamed of, in Germany they are taught even in schools. I remember, we had the subject of sexual intercourse for the first time in the 4th grade in primary school. Of course, the lesson was taught at the child level, so there was no irritating or depressing situations. It was very superficial and simple for children to understand, like what is necessary for the formation of a baby, how the baby develops in the mother’s womb, how it is born, etc. We also learnt about contraception methods in secondary school in biology class.
I strayed a bit from the subject, but I think sexual education is not given in schools in Turkey. And I know that many Turkish girls avoid gynecological examination before marriage because they are ashamed of it. But it’s super important for your health! As I said before, you can go for a check-up in your puberty, a pelvic exam should be done at the latest when you start having an active sex life. I suggest you to find a good doctor in this regard, where you feel understood, where you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or worry about what the doctor will think, who listens to you carefully and have a nice communication style… these are very important things and I think they will make you feel more comfortable. I know that there are gynecologists who ask “are you married” instead of “do you have an active sex life” before the pelvic exam. I think that makes a difference and could make the patient feel embarrassed. Please find a doctor who makes you feel comfortable, that’s super important! I love my gynecologist so much, she is an incredibly sweet person who has motherly affection. She is very skilled, I can ask her about anything, not only about gynecological issues. Even though if my question is not her field, she has always tips and tries to find solutions and does researches. Oh look at me how much I praised my dear doctor, but I really love her so much.❤️😄
In the gynecologic examination, your doctor will make a pelvic exam and check if everything is fine with your uterus and vagina. If you had never sex before, you should tell your doctor, because then the abdomen is examined by ultrasound.🥰 There are also tests which has to be done annually, the Pap smear test and the HPV test. The Pap test looks for precancers, cell changes on the cervix that might become cervical cancer if they are not treated appropriately. The HPV test looks for the virus (human papillomavirus) that can cause these cell changes. Regular screening means early diagnosis and prevention of cancer. Please be sensitive about this and do not forget your routine checks.
5. THE PILL
Do you take the pill?
No, I don’t take (and have never taken) the pill. In this case I don’t have much to share, but I wanted to include this question because so many of you asked. I am not much of a supporter of loading hormones into my body (my gynecologist is also very distant to birth control pills). The pill can be used in menstrual irregularities, cysts and as a contraceptive method. In such cases, of course, what your gynecologist recommends is important. But it wouldn’t be my first choice I think. After all, this is an external hormone load and will affect your body, balance and general mood. It’s also tiring on the liver. So I think it should be used if there is no other option left. But this is my personal opinion, please consult your doctor. I like to listen to my body and be in a flow with it.🥰
Suggestion: The Clue app has been installed on my phone for years to track my period. The app also shows the ovulation period prediction, those who are planning a baby or want to prevent it can also check these dates (but it can change, so don’t rely on it 100%!). If you can’t get your period or if you have severe cramps and bloating during your period, you can try my 8 Min Period Relief Workout, it has helped many women out there. Another suggestion is the BBT (basal body temperature). BBT is your body temperature when you wake up right in the morning before getting out of bed. Your temperature will rise slightly after ovulation and drop just before your period, so you can get a pretty accurate look into your fertile and infertile days. Technology makes it a lot more easier: If you have a smart watch that can measure temperature, it will do it for you while you sleep. I use Apple Watch Series 8, it records my BBT day by day and shows my ovulation period and when I will have my period in the clearest way.
I’m very curious about your thoughts on dating.
How can you get to know someone without going on a date? By texting on Whatsapp? 😋 My thoughts on dating: go for it! Just as you learn about others, you’ll also learn so much about yourself. You’re lucky if you think that you met “the one” in young years, which of course is great! But if you’re single right now and afraid to step out and meet new people, my experience is that nothing truly great happens in your comfort zone. You have to step out, take leaps and trust yourself (and life). Yes, you might have bumpy experiences like a rollercoaster. And yes, you might have some bad strange dates as well, but I think we all had hehe. Don’t worry about it that much, it’ll be a funny memory to look back on in a few years.😊 You might also make some new friends along the way.
7. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Well, I wouldn’t say I believe that “love at first sight” always applies. To me, admiration and infatuation at first sight is real, but I think that true love and finding “the one” goes a lot deeper than what we can see the first time we meet. It’s nice (and important) to be physically attracted to someone, however what I find the most important is having common values and life goals. Knowing that you can truly trust someone, moving in the same direction, being on the same frequency and believing that this person could represent me as my other half is what makes “the one” for me. I personally cannot fall in love with this person immediately, I might just admire him. This admiration turns into true love as I discover those values in that person. These things can only be felt and known with time. I’m a person who analyzes a lot and I definitely have great control over my emotions, so love at first sight is a little bit too much for me. What about you? Do you believe in love at first sight?
What’s fundamental for you in a relationship & your partner?
Of course, what I mentioned above. In addition to them:
• Loyalty. There is no compromise on this.🤓
• Independence. The man in my life should also be ‘complete’ without me, meaning I shouldn’t feel like I need to complete him and that he needs me for it. I want him to be a strong individual in his own life, because I am such a person, too.
• Positivity. No bad vibes. There is not even a single person in my life that pulls my energy down, I don’t let people with bad vibes come close to me. I am a very happy and positive person with high energy. My partner should be full of positivity as well.
• Practicality. It would amaze me when the person quickly produces practical solutions, rather than being a drama llama with a bad mood. This is one of the most important things for me.
• Healthy lifestyle. I am a person who has a healthy and balanced lifestyle. For example, I hate the smell of cigarettes, so smoking in my car and in my house would make me very uncomfortable. If he might have smoking habits, we would definitely have a big problem in the long run. That might be inconspicuous at first, but I experienced that a relationship cannot easily handle huge differences in lifestyle.
• Care. Well, it is very veeery important that he pays attention to his hygiene and is well-groomed.😄
• Humor. Is there anything better than laughing at the same things and having fun together?
• Being unpredictable. Having a predictable personality doesn’t excite me, and faint characters don’t interest me. Being versatile and deep is what excites me and I would love to hear his opinions and thoughts on things. We should be able to learn from each other.
9. BEING SEXY
What would you recommend to increase your femininity and feel more sexy?
I think ‘sexy’ doesn’t mean a body type, a piece of clothing, or attractive facial features. Sexy is an energy, if that energy is high, wear a sack and you will look still sexy.🤓 Your self-confidence and self-love are the things that will strengthen this energy. It is very difficult for a person who doesn’t possess self-love to reflect that sexy energy. So no matter how you look, be at peace with yourself. Love yourself, take time for yourself, have priorities and prioritize yourself.
What can we do to feel more feminine? For example, nice lingerie makes me feel super good. We may be wearing oversized sweaters during cold months, but a cute lace bralette underneath would give you that little bit extra.😍 Although no one sees it, the important fact is that I see it myself and I feel sexy in it. It’s the same in pajamas, I never sleep in ugly pants and old t-shirts.😄 I have lots of beautiful satin pajamas, I love them. Even before I go to bed, I sometimes spray perfume in the room so that I can sleep with nice smells.😄 Lighting candles at home, putting on a face mask, moisturizing the legs with a fragrant body lotion, a warm herbal tea, fresh flowers in a vase, these make one feel beautiful and feminine I think. Also, exercising is my number one. Seeing the changes in my body and reaching my goals makes me feel more confident and more feminine. My YouTube channel will definitely help you to get your dream body.🥰
10. FLAWLESS SILKY SKIN
How to get a beautiful skin?
The key to glowing clear skin = a healthy lifestyle + a great skin care routine, they go hand in hand. It’s important to nourish the skin from the inside as well as from the outside. Your skin will reflect whatever you eat and drink. So eat clean, take your vitamins, drink plenty of water, get rid of toxins by exercising regularly, do some skin care with good products and lean back.🤓 Stress can also throw your skin off balance, you can try meditation and breath exercises. We will talk about my current skin care routine in a separate post.🥰
What are your thoughts on the topics mentioned above? Let’s have a little girl chat in the comments down below; tell me about your own experiences and thoughts. You can even ask questions under this post or get opinions on the issues that keep you busy. I’m sure that my readers (and me of course) will gladly give answers or opinions. You can also ask anonymously no problem.🥰